To Have Loved
by Lily Evans Potter Black Lupin
Summary: It's a NejiNaru fic, very sad, yet full of love,
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Neji or anything Naruto related. Please don't sue. Thanks and enjoy my story

**To have loved**

Neji didn't understand how this could be the end. Perhaps if he had been less proud, perhaps if he had paid attention to all the signs. Perhaps if he had listened to Naruto's urgings to go to the Hospital. There were so many perhaps and infinite quantity of uncertainties, his head began to spin, unable to reconcile the fact that he was going to die. He had a malign tumor in his head, it was too late to treat him, and even if he had insisted on a operation there was a 99.9 chance of becoming a vegetable. It was not something he had wanted and in fact he wasn't regretting his choice of foregoing that operation, he was regretting his choices that led up to that point.

When he had first found out he hadn't told Naruto the full extent of his condition, it wasn't fair to exclude Naruto, yet he didn't want to hurt him. He had continued to go on missions, even against the reccomendations of Tsunade. He had gone on all the missions that Naruto had gone on just to spend time with him, to be able to tell him he loved him many times so that when he was gone his words and his feelings would remain.

However a month ago, it became impossible to hide it any longer from Naruto. When he was told, Naruto hadn't been surprised at the news as much as Neji had thought he would be. He had expected yells and tantrums and recriminations and instead all he got were silent tears and desperate hug. It turned out that Naruto had in fact known the whole time and had just decided to let Neji do it his way. Neji understood then the times that Naruto had gone out without telling him and only to come back a few hours later in an urgent, passionate mood were the times that Naruto had gone out to cry to think, and to try to make himself look happy for Neji. Neji understood it now and he thanked Naruto for his thoughtfulness for his willingness to push aside his own pain in preference to making Neji as happy and as loved as possible.

And now here he was, in bed, with Naruto next to him, hugging him and comforting him with his warmth. Neji suddenly felt cold seeping in and he understood that the time for good by was upon them, yet he didn't want to wake Naruto, so instead he gave the hand that held him a kiss and he placed a letter on the nightstand. He was content now, at the end, he was satisfied with his life. He had feared that he would be frightened of death and would cause more pain to Naruto, but it did not happen. He was happy, he needed nothing more than the knowledge that he had loved and been loved by a kind and gentle heart.

**the end**

I might write what was on the letter if I at least get one person interested in knowing.

-your friendly author


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own anything Everything is Kishimoto-sensei's property.

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Naruto,

I can't seem to find the word to explain what you mean to me, though I believe that I have tried to show you how important you are to me, how if our positions were reversed I would not be as strong as you are now. I'm so selfish, and I know it well, but I thank the gods that it is I that am leaving beforehand and not you. I want to see you grow old, I want to see you keep living, but most of all I want to see you continue to share your love. Yet, I'm still not at the point that I would be able to ask you to fall in love with another person, to move on. But I can tell you that if it so happens that someone else comes along that makes you happy, that loves you completely, do not think that I will be angry, or sad, because nothing that makes you happy could ever make me anything but happy in return. Don't let my memory be the stumbling block that thwarts your growth, your forward movement.

I hope that you will remember what I once told you a long time ago. That you have eyes that see much better than mine ever did. So keep trusting your heart and believe in what you perceive to be the truth, and never doubt yourself. Don't doubt your strength because doubt is the root of failure and you my darling Naruto, are not a failure. Keep sharing your light, and once your bones are too tired and your heart too heavy, I shall be waiting for you at the end of the road to take up your troubles and help you on the new road that we'll share in eternity.

I love you now and forever, beyond any death. Death cannot make my love weak.

Thank you, my love,

Neji Hyuuga, _the one who was saved by your light._

_**One year later**,_

Naruto had put off reading the letter, He hadn't been sure if he could stand it if he read it right away, and so he patiently waited until the 1 year anniversary of his beloved's passing to read it. And as he had known he would, he cried as he read the letter, but he understood the promise held within that page written with such painstaking care.

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the END, finally I can't believe it took me so long to put it up!


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